


Wasted

by nielnyeon



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, One Sided Love, Platonic Relationships, hwangniel, may appear other wanna one characters, nielnyeon - Freeform, toxic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-03-20 12:30:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 18,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13717719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nielnyeon/pseuds/nielnyeon
Summary: Minhyun loves to be alone, he really does. But what if he started to enjoy his time alone with someone?What if he fell in love, so hard that he hurt himself.Because love is beautiful, but it can hurt. A lot.





	1. again

Minhyun frowns as soon as the words come out of the child’s mouth and limiting himself to only nod, Minhyun bends his head and focuses only on his chocolate because if the other boy can't stay he's not going to force him. That's why when he raises his head, Daniel is already gone.

Daniel has always done whatever he wanted. He’s been playing with Minhyun as much as he wanted, and Minhyun has been accepting it since because of the value that he gives to the relationship with him. In the end, it is not something that unbearable.

 

He closes his computer and keeps it in his bag, picks up the hot chocolate paper cup that he’d ordered before and reaches the counter where he grabs a small piece of paperboard. He makes the paper cup fit to it in order for him to not burn his hand while holding it and looks at the boy who’s standing behind the counter. His name is Jinyoung, a boy younger than him but that had managed really well to make a living. And that was something that Minhyun had always respected, so thumbs up to Jinyoung. He waves goodbye to the boy who’s smiling and leaves the cafeteria.

 

Once he’s outside he meets the cold from the still early winter. Christmas are just around the corner though and the decoration in the streets tries to shine between the snow from the past days. Minhyun smiles because although he doesn’t like the cold weather, he loves the picture presented before his eyes. That’s why he always goes to this cafeteria. Apart from the fact that Jinyoung is always up to make him some discounts and that’s something to thank. Not that he’s poor or short in money, but it is true that he’s never been one to spend like a sailor. Rather, he would save as much money as he could. How could one say no to free hot chocolate once in a while.

 

Before he realizes it he’s at home saying hello to his parents. He leaves his bag with his computer next to his bed and starts to take off the several layers of clothes that he’s wearing to prevent himself of getting sick when he’s outdoors. He puts everything in its place leaving only the computer as he’s sure he’ll use it before going to sleep. He puts on his pajama and goes to the kitchen to fill up his water bottle trying on his way to avoid any confrontation with his mother. Yes, today he arrived earlier than what he used to and his mom was always behind him trying to know what he had done, with who and what things did he talked about. And this was something that got him on his nerves, he wasn’t going to tell her anything, where would his privacy or intimacy go if he did? And furthermore… what was he going to tell her? “Look mum, I met Daniel to help him with a subject he’s lacking at but after arriving half hour late, he left after 10 minutes without less more than: something’s up, gotta go” Yeah, his mum would understand and for sure wouldn’t ask more. Or better, for sure she wouldn’t reproach him the fact that most of his friends where younger than him (yes, what does it even matter, right?). He had only two friends who were older than him, Jisung and Seungwoo, 24 and 20 respectively. Daniel is 17 and Jinyoung 16, of course they were younger than him, but that didn’t mean that they couldn’t hang out together sometimes. He had a wide variety of years range of friends and that didn’t matter to him. Ever had, never will. He liked it that way, he seemed the mother of the group most of the time except when Jisung was around. That damned fairy was so outgoing that sometimes (always) outshined him, because of course, Minhyun was shy and quiet most of the time so when he spoke was only to scold the rest of them because of whatever thing they did to annoy him.

 

Once he got into bed, he grabs his phone switching from app to app with one finger, sighing and closing his eyes for a moment before focusing them on the screen. He ends rolling his eyes because he just discovered the reason why Daniel had to run so much earlier and leave him alone after. It wasn’t something pleasing for Minhyun: apparently Daniel had spent the rest of the afternoon with his friend Joeun, a classmate of him and with whom it seems to be very close.

 

Rapidly without thinking it twice, Minhyun sends him a private message.

 

To **@defdanik** : _Well, if you were going to meet with your lovely friend… why bothering asking me to meet?_

 

He waits for the answer even knowing that Daniel’s not going to answer right away, Minhyun is convinced that he’s going to end up doing it. To Minhyun’s surprise, it’s earlier than expected.

 

To **@minnieh** : _I’m sorry Minhyun, was a last-minute thing… coffee tomorrow? My deal :(_

 

Minhyun finds himself rolling again his eyes after reading the message. Of course he’s willing to accept, but not like this. Somehow it gives him the impression that he answers too fast, that Daniel is used to it, used to solve things like this when it actually shouldn’t work that way from the start.

 

It is for this same reason that it’s not until an hour later after watching some videos in YouTube and several messages from Daniel insisting about it and talking to him so he doesn’t get upset that he doesn’t answer with a simple “Ok”. After this, he falls asleep with his phone in his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously, this fanfic is going to take a lot of effort from me to write it so it might take a lot of time for me to update it.
> 
> Chapters are going to be really short and I pretend to make them so that time's passed from one to another - I don't even know if that makes sense at all? I think you'll understand once you've read some chapters
> 
> Please, english is not my mother language so I might make some grammar and maybe vocabulary mistakes, will try my best tho. Bear with me if sentences are too long or hard to understand, I'm used to another type of writing.
> 
> The first 5 chapters are going to be translated to English (because I intended to write them in my mother language, but got discouraged) so there might be some changes regarding the expressions or the writing itself.


	2. meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before reading, in case you wondered, yes the ages described do not correspond to the ones in real life:  
> Jisung: 24  
> Seongwoo: 20  
> Minhyun: 20  
> Daniel: 17/18  
> Jinyoung: 16
> 
> I made it so Daniel actually turns 18 in the month in which everything is happening.  
> You will realize that I'll make jumps in time from chapter to chapter, but they will always be forward and not backwards.

Once again, he’d been waiting for Daniel for half an hour when Daniel’s brown head finally appeared through the doors of the cafeteria with a broad grin plastered on his face showing his bunny teeth that Minhyun always found adorable. When Daniel sees the oldest one, he takes the seat in front of him leaving his bag on the floor, leaning over the table with his elbows.

 

“I’m sorry for being late… again. And about yesterday… uh, how much do I owe you?” Daniel points with his finger the drink that Minhyun is having, even grabbing it as he tries to see the amount that Minhyun drunk already.

“First of all you shouldn’t even be apologizing if you did things right… second, it doesn’t matter, it’s on Jinyoung, so you better thank him later” Minhyun signals with his eyes the boy behind the counter who’s submerged serving kindly a customer.

 

Daniel looks at Jinyoung slightly frowning his lips in a way that doesn’t go unnoticed by Minhyun who tilts his head supporting it with his hand, only stopping to observe the boy once he notices he’s going to return his look.

 

“I’ll thank him later, I guess…” mutters Daniel with a frown. “About yesterday, it was because I had to hand in a project today and I had forgotten until Joeun reminded me, so… you know” Actually no, Minhyun had no idea but he nods retrieving his cup of hot chocolate and bringing it to his lips.

“How’s everything going? It’s been a while since we saw each other, what’s up?”

 

Minhyun always found it easy to change topics when he felt awkward talking, so here he is focusing only on his interest about Daniel’s life in a casual way. It is true that they haven’t seen each other for a few days (not counting yesterday), but he actually kind of knows how are things for Daniel. That habit of him of posting everything in his social networks, Daniel barely missed to post when he was defecating, so of course Minhyun know everything he does, when and where.

 

If he stopped and started to think, that was a contradiction. Somehow Daniel managed to say everything and nothing at the same time in his social network. Minhyun knows better, Daniel has a façade and the Daniel that’s shown online is not the real Daniel. As easy as it is for Minhyun to read people, Daniel has always been like a big stone for him. A playful, tricky and tempting stone. It has never been easy.

 

“Good, actually… I can’t wait for classes to end so I can have a break and have some fun. That, by the way… Are you travelling back to Busan for Christmas?” Daniel asks with certain interest which takes Minhyun unprepared.

“Mh… yeah, I don’t have my tickets yet but I was planning on paying a visit to my sister this Christmas. Why? Are you going to Busan too?” If it weren’t for Daniel, Minhyun would have forgotten about purchasing his train tickets. He had to, though. Every year Minhyun visits his sister, he always did to escape a little bit from his reality at home in Seoul, but may be if Daniel joined him this year, it could be more entertaining.

“Yeah, I got my tickets last week but my mum told me she’s off to Hong Kong for a business meeting and I can’t cancel them because they are non refundable. That’s why I thought about you, because I’ve been a bad dongsaeng… wanna come with me? Woojin’s not gonna be there neither so I’ll be a little bit alone” the look in Daniel’s eyes is what takes Minhyun to agree to it, at least mentally, and Daniel knows it.

“Daniel…” Minhyun shakes his head, rolls his eyes because of his words and huffs leaving his chocolate on the table, supporting now himself on it with his arms to lean over a little bit. “Okay, but let’s make a deal. You come with me for a few days, I don’t think my sister will mind”

 

Daniel has to think it twice before nodding in agreement. He’s not fully convinced, but he’s agreed to it, so after a few more minutes arguing about the thing, in the end they determine hat they will stay first a few days in Minhyun’s and then they’ll go to Daniel’s home.

 

The fact that Daniel has offered him the choice of spending Christmas with him, makes Minhyun genuinely happy, but because of the rest of things that Daniel has said, he’s not able to feel right. It’s normal, Woojin was a primary school friend, they are from the same city, it is acceptable for Daniel to think about him too. Right?

 

Still somehow bothered because of that, he lets it slip and tries to enjoy his afternoon with Daniel, updating themselves and seeing that he’s going to have to put some order in Daniel’s life if he really wants to pass his first college year clean. He laughs because he knows Daniel as if he was his brother, but for some reason he grimaces when they tear apart. This feeling again in his body and mind about wanting more from Daniel. As weird as it might seem, even baffling for Minhyun, Daniel was someone ho had all the requirements needed to be detested by Minhyun and still had managed somehow to make him not wanting, but desiring to know him better, to know more. To make Daniel desire the same about him, to make Daniel have interest in the same way about him. And that was appalling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, I am only using their image and names. Their personalities are from my own imagination and so will happen with the rest of w1, although I can be inspired by their real ones sometimes.
> 
> Believe me, it's not easy to make Daniel like this when you know he's so cheerful in real life.  
> On the other side, Minhyun reminds me of myself sometimes so it's easy to project the kind of thoughts that he has or he that doesn't.
> 
> I hope you're enjoying this so far... and thank you for the love <3


	3. to busan

After agreeing with Daniel about taking the same train, somehow he gets to seat next to him after exchanging his original seat with a boy who was supposed to seat next to Daniel. It was an easy task because as fast as the guy saw that next to Minhyun was seating a young girl, he accepted. Minhyun rolled his eyes because of the obvious and easy that that turned out to be, but didn’t take long to seat next to Daniel while he was putting on his earphones paying attention to the old one.

“That was pretty easy… woah, emperor Minhyun skills…” says Daniel in a rascal tone. Some of his friends called him “emperor” because of his surname, as it sounds as “wang/( 왕 )” which in Korean means “King” they took the habit of calling him that. Minhyun shakes his head letting himself fall on his seat, grabbing a book that he’d decided to read during this short vacation period.

“It was quite obvious that it was going to work, it wasn’t any special skill nor anything similar, Daniel…” Minhyun states trying to downplay a little bit what the younger one said.

Daniel shrugs with a smile letting Minhyun seat comfortably in his seat and after a few minutes, the train parts to their hometown. For some reason, the television shared in the superior part of the train is playing a black and white film that Minhyun even doubts that have any dialogs so as soon as he loses his interest in watching only the screen, he diverts his attention to anything and everything at the same time. He lets all the sounds surround him because that’s what makes him happy, it always had made him feel good; maybe because it was the sound of returning home. It wasn’t his home anymore because he lived in Seoul, but it was where he had grown up and it is where his sister is still living.

He ends up rescuing the book that he had slip between his fingers and let fall to his tights, remaining there until he picks it up again and opens it to read. Daniel, on the contrary, looks like he’s listening to music with his phone, nodding with his head every few seconds.

After approximately one hour, Minhyun is tired of reading so he puts the bookmark where he’d stopped reading and keeps his book inside his bag lying between his feet. A yawn makes him stretch and look to Daniel, who apparently had fallen completely asleep while Minhyun was immersed in reading. He lets out a silent laugh while he watches him sleep with his mouth fully open, something that Minhyun would have never imagined about Daniel, and maybe that if Daniel were another random person, Minhyun would be judging him and not laughing it off right now. He tries to make him close it putting a finger behind his chin pushing it upwards, but that seems to bother Daniel because he starts blinking and opening his eyes; well, at least Minhyun achieved his purpose of closing his mouth.

“What’s up?” Daniel seats correctly on his seat, taking off his earphones letting them hang from his neck. Minhyun falls back to his seat placing his hands under his own tights.

“Nothing’s up, you had you mouth open. Sorry for waking you up” Minhyun pouts looking at Daniel.

“It’s ok, thank you for trying to save my image” Daniel hides his face behind his hands and seats leaning on Minhyun’s arm sliding until he also rests his head on his shoulder. Minhyun can feel right away how all his muscles tense, he didn’t expect that at all.

“Hey, try not to drool” Minhyun frowns his lips staying quiet when Daniel laughs a little bit, crosses his arms and closes his eyes.

Minhyun doesn’t have any more option than to accept it. He sighs and moistens his lips as he tries to relax himself, but after a few minutes in the same position, he’s certain that it’s going to take him more than that. Daniel is sleeping peacefully, he’s aware of that because he can hear his relaxed breath, and that makes him feel more anxious and nervous. 

Minhyun had always been of those person who found really hard to interact with other people. He didn’t enjoy multitudes but neither to be really close to anyone; at least in a physical sense. He needed his space, his distance and his peace. Therefore, him feeling like this with Daniel is pretty normal, except for the fact that he’s been around Daniel for quite a long time now, so he should be used to him. But he’s not. He can feel his nervous body, stiff and alert. He’s not sure what he has done or what he’s thought, but after a while, his body gives up and his mind also lets him sleep on Daniel’s head.

If Daniel’s been conscious about it or not is a mystery for Minhyun. When Daniel opened his eyes at least half an hour before the oldest one, he noticed Minhyun’s head on the top of his, so he let him rest a few minutes more. On the other side, Minhyun rises his head awakening, without minding if he fell asleep on Daniel’s hair or not. Well, of course he minds, but he’s gonna act like he doesn’t. He flinches in pain because he had spent too much time with every inch of his body stiff, so now it hurts quite a lot. He lifts his hand to his neck and rubs it a little bit as if the pain is going to ease just like this. Maybe Minhyun doesn’t know, but Daniel is looking straight at him with a big smile.

“So… did you sleep well?” Minhyun blushes, relieved that the heat temperature of the train can cover it up a little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I was supposed to upload this a few hours ago but my Word crashed and erased everything because I was too intelligent to not save it before.. so I had to re-translate everything again with Pages. I'm not trusting Microsoft Office again.
> 
> \- If everything goes as planned, I'll upload next chapter this weekend!
> 
> \- I know that it's different 황 (hwang) and 왕 (wang), I just wanted to play a little bit with the word and not only with Minhyun's features. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed :)


	4. different worlds

After deciding that they would go firstly to Minhyun’s house, Daniel is a little bit restrained in his room, not knowing where to put his suitcase because for him it looks like wherever he moves, he’s gonna touch or make a mess and Minhyun’s going to get mad. So he’s staying in a corner next to the door as still as a stone.

“Yah, what are you doing! Leave the suitcase and come in. It’s my bedroom, not a lava swimming pool” Minhyun rolls his eyes encouraging Daniel to at least breathe and even though it looks like it’s working, Daniel doesn’t move more than two steps.  
“I’m in your bedroom… I dunno, it gives me respect, you know?” That remark earns an eye roll again from Minhyun and a sigh.

Minhyun seats in his chair in front of his desk, turns around and signals Daniel to seat in his bed. Daniel would sleep in another mattress that the’d put before going to sleep. Daniel, although still a little bit restrained, ends up following his signal and seating on the mattress, poking his head to see what’s he doing.  
Minhyun turns on the computer that he has in front of him and thinks about the amount of time that has passed since the last time he did, wondering if it will work correctly or not. The computer answers him by taking more than three minutes to start plus more than five to be able to use it with normality. That didn’t happen before.  
Meanwhile, Daniel takes his time to research what Minhyun has in his room. A little cushion on his pillow, clear sheets, white walls, shelves full of books, an small television, a video console controller… That draws Daniel’s full attention, standing up and reaching Minhyun’s side. That way he’s able to look at the video console which is old, but fine for him.

“Yah Minhyun, I didn’t know that you liked to play video games?!” Daniel seems excited.  
“And I don’t like them…? My dad bought that console for me thinking that I would use it when I got bored, but I think that my sister’s used it more times than I” Minhyun shrugs raising his eyebrows at Daniels smirk grabbing the controller.  
“Why?! Would you like to play with me?” Minhyun keeps looking at Daniel but now with a face of horror. Daniel looks at him blinking several times as if he’d look cuter that way. Minhyun only wants to punch him on his face. 

Minhyun stands up grabbing the other controller and starts to set up everything, checking if all the connections and cables needed are where they are supposed to be.  
Daniel can’t hide the feeling of happiness right now, if there’s something that he likes more than music, that would be playing video games. He has before his eyes a playstation 2 that has more than 10 years probably, so that means that represents his childhood.  
After checking all the games and Minhyun putting everything in order, the oldest seats letting Daniel to be in charge and decide which game they are going to play. 

 

They both end up seating on Minhyuns bed, controller in their hands and playing Gran Turismo, a game that Minhyun could have probably mastered years ago if he had played it at all, but that isn’t the case. Probably his father did at that time. That way, once, and once again, Minhyun loses the races not only ending behind Daniel but the last one. Regardless of the mockery from Daniel, Minhyun smiles and although he doesn’t like the game at all, he tries hard to catch Daniels laugh. It doesn’t last long because Daniel ends up throwing the controller to his side avoiding his gaze when Minhyun has lost for the 5th time. 

“Playing like this isn’t fun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, will probably upload 5th tonight :)
> 
> Thank you for sticking with me and I hope you're enjoying this at least a little bit <3


	5. thank you

Minhyun’s never been someone to talk too much. Maybe in general terms, he wouldn't search for anyone and usually he wouldn’t start conversations unlesshe has to ask something or the extreme necessity to talk to that person in concrete. This is not something of his liking, Minhyun is really conscious about this deficiency (or virtue, depending on how you see that and the situation). Regardless of his many attempts to be more open or social to people. This is one of the subjects from his personal life that he still fails.

 

Daniel, on the contrary, has always been someone easygoing. Socialize? He was the personification of it. Or at least this is the impression that he has been giving all this time. Daniel has a lot of friends, more than Minhyun has ever had in all his life. Truth be told, Daniel always felt alone. The thing is, if someone told Minhyun that Daniel is a lonely person, he’d probably laugh it out loud. Daniels daily life is different from what it looks.

 

_Looks._

 

“ _Who are you talking with? Who’s so interesting that you’re not capable of sharing with me? Are you talking to Joeun? Or maybe is it Seungwoo?_ ” Questions like these fill Minhyun’s mind while he eyes Daniel from his upper position on his own mattress. Those are not questions he’s ever dared to ask loudly, but they bother him until the point of turning around back facing Daniel. He’ll get tired of it and maybe he’s already asleep when he does.

But he's not.

 

“Minhyun-ah… are you asleep?”

 

Although Minhyun has his eyes closed, he has not managed to fall asleep, so when Daniel moves and leans on Minhyun’s mattress, Minhyun is aware of it. 

Too aware when suddenly he feels Daniels body approaching his. Especially when he puts one arm around his waist and places his hand very close to his sternum. Minhyun curses internally because again, who gave permission to Daniel to approach him and touch him so freely? Who? Why had to be him? And the most important question... why?!

In this case, Daniel being the one who is embracing him that way, considering that Minhyun is supposed to be asleep, his body is more tense than a stone. What if Daniel notices the speed that his heart has taken? Now he is certain that he will be unable to fall asleep any soon.

 

“Thank you.”

 

A simple word that comes out between Daniel’s lips gets that, if Minhyun was tense, his stomach twisted in place. “ _Thank you for what, you moron?_ ” As much as he would like to ask him, he knows that he has to do as if nothing, as if Daniel was supposed to tell him while he’s asleep. If he dares to tell Minhyun awake, he eventually will.

 

He doesn’t know when, but at some point of that nervousness, he falls asleep.

 

Next morning, he awakes alone. Daniel is completely curled up in his bed hugging the bedcover, maybe cold. Minhyun sighs, puts his hands up his head combing his hair which he probably has mixed up like every morning, and fully incorporates himself until he’s seated, observing Daniel with a frown.

He bends down to the younger and finishes covering his body by pulling on the bedcover. At least he tries, but by doing that Daniel seems to get upset in his dreams and half-open his eyes. He tries to open them all the way until he realizes what the older one is doing. Minhyun doesn’t notice until Daniel opens his mouth to have a say.

 

“Minhyonie…”Daniel stretches all his body putting Minhyun on alert “what time is it?”

 

It is not very common for Daniel to call Minhyun with that name, but if he has ever dropped it, it was especially when he wanted to keep Minhyun happy.

 

Minhyun answers him after eyeing his wristwatch, having to adjust the view as well because everything is dark. After confirming that it was till early, Minhyun gives Daniel permission to stay a little longer in bed while he gets up, jumping Daniel’s body when doing it. Daniel nods and turns around once Minhyun has jumped and grabs his mobile phone.

 

Here we are again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double upload today because I know the last one was shorrrt.
> 
> Unexpectedly, this happened. 
> 
> Will try to set up some upload dates... maybe friday-sunday? But at the same time will probably upload only one chapter per week because of uni work (final year, so yeah... sucks to have so many papers and the final degree project)  
> I'll try my best.
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading this fanfic, I know it might be difficult but just because of that... thank you <3


	6. hurts

It’s a sunny day. It’s cold, but the sun makes up for it. Daniel and Minhyun decided once they both had breakfast to walk around a little bit, see the neighborhood and just do as they please. Minhyun didn’t live in a centric area, but he felt safe walking through those streets and it was really nice to see everything again. Of course not everything was as when he was younger, but still made him feel good. 

After deciding to have lunch at a traditional Korean barbecue, they seat facing each other grilling the meat and having the fest of their lives. Of course Daniel would ask Minhyun why he wanted to eat like that with him, Minhyun answering him with a shrug and a wide smile.

 

“We didn’t celebrate your birthday properly this year… and I didn’t buy you a present… so here is my present, please eat a lot!” 

 

That earned a surprised face from Daniel. He wasn’t expecting that answer at all because yeah, they didn’t celebrate his birthday but he didn’t want Minhyun to feel obligated to do this. Because it was his decision and because he maybe feels a little bit bad about it because of something that he hasn’t told anyone yet.

 

“You didn’t have to do this, you know… I’m grateful that you’re staying with me” Daniel lowers his head when he says this, as if he tried to apologize without actually saying it.

“Oh, but I wanted to! Stop complaining and enjoy the food!” Minhyun urges him pushing more side dishes to Daniels side.

 

They keep up with the small chit chat for a while until they have their belly full, in the end Daniel having eaten most of the things they ordered. Not that Minhyun complained, but maybe his bank account will. He spent more than what he would have if eating at a normal restaurant in Seoul with any of his other few friends. Because Daniel eats a lot. A lot.

 

They bid their goodbyes to the old couple that run the restaurant and leave.They don’t have any destination, they just walk side by side in silence and it’s almost amazing for Minhyun because although he feels the urge to say something, Daniel stays as quiet as him. And that frightens him. He hasn’t listened any more ‘thank you’ from Daniel besides the one that he just told him when eating, and he’s not sure if that one had the same meaning as the one that Daniel told him last night. 

 

“So… what’s your relationship with Joeun? Are you a couple already?” Somehow those words escape Minhyuns lips, and although he immediately regrets, he can’t do anything to make Daniel unheard them.

“What…” Daniel looks at Minhyun, a grin popping on his face shaking his head. “Of course not, we’re just friends… just like you and I, I don’t know…” 

“That hurts, you know… I though I was something more special to you taking into account that I help you with your studies and we hang out together with the rest, AND you’re sleeping at my sister’s right now…” Minhyun rolls his eyes placing his right hand on his chest as if his heart hurt. But the truth is, it actually does and he doesn’t know why.

“Oh, well, yeah, you’re especial, but I actually do more or less the same with her.” Daniel raises his eyebrows twice, looking at Minhyun.

“Oh, so you sleep at her sister’s?” Naive Minhyun…

“Nah, I sleep at her house in her bed, it’s better.”

“Well you are sleeping with me, too.” _“You even back hugged me”_ He wants to add.

“Not the same. At all.” Answers fast enough Daniel. 

“Okay I lose.” Minhyun looks anywhere but to Daniel, avoiding the smile that’s on his face.

 

Minhyun gives up, and he gives up because he’s hurt too much right now to bear with all the information that his mind has to process. What started with a joke ended up being too serious for him to handle, and he didn’t like that. So Daniel was fucking Joeun as if nothing and dared to say that they weren’t a couple. S-U-R-E. Minhyun didn’t know what that makes him feel more, sad or mad. Probably both.

Although he tries to hide it from Daniel, Minhyun’s mood has shifted since that conversation, and what looked like was going to be a nice day, ended up being an awkward one. The fact that Minhyun was acting weirdlymade Daniel’s mood shift too, so in the end they were both acting awkward and getting mad without even knowing why.

 

The mood was tense when they arrived to Minhyun’s house, his sister prepared a dinner for all of them plus decided to prepare a movie + popcorn night, and of course noticed the mood between those two.

 

“Is Daniel angry with you? What has happened today?” His sister asks when she gets to be alone with Minhyun while Daniel was showering.

“Nothing happened. I don’t know, why?” Minhyun was annoyed and didn’t want to answer, but that was his sister, so he feels that he has to give her an answer. Although it doesn’t have to be sincere.

“Don’t ruin it, you’re leaving tomorrow to his house…” His sister crossed his arms and now is looking at Minhyun with an eyebrow raised. “Aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I am…” Minhyun lowers his head and disappears into his room, changing to more comfortable clothes to be at home.

 

 

Minhyun is not sure. He’s not sure because he feels wrong inside, he’s not supposed to feel like this. Betrayal? Daniel has not betrayed him. But he should have told him that he was fucking that girl. Right? That’s what friends do. And… Why didn’t Minhyun notice when reading Daniels social network? Because he hadn’t said a thing. So it was a secret after all. Right?

 

Daniel looks handsome from the door what Minhyun is doing with narrowed eyes. Is Minhyun alright? He didn’t have to be mad about anything, so why is he getting more angry as minutes pass. Daniel sighs and enters the room finally getting the attention from Minhyun who steps from his bed and grabs a towel from his wardrobe and clean clothes.

 

“You finished already?” He asks with a low voice, hardly for Daniel to hear.

“Yeah” 

 

Daniel throws himself over the bedcover and grabs his mobile phone again, checking if there was anything new, ignoring Minhyun who is supposed to be heading to the bathroom. But he’s still under the door frame, looking at Daniel.

 

“Is there anything” Minhyun points with his chin the device that Daniel has between his hands.

“Just checking my mom out, she’s going to sleep now” 

 

Minhyun nods as if contented with the answer but he’s not, because he knows that Daniel is lying. He can do multiple things at a time and he’s truly aware of that. He doesn’t trust Daniel anymore.


	7. jelly

It’s a new day and they are both preparing their suitcases to leave to Daniel’s house where they will spend the rest of their mini holidays alone. Last night was normal, Minhyun abled to distract himself with his sister and with the movie as a good technique to make as if he didn’t notice the boredom in Daniel sometimes, and the way he shifted his mobile phone and unlocked it to look at something, lock it back and do as if he wasn’t really distracted with the film.

That hurt to Minhyun because it was as if he wasn’t enough for Daniel, as if what he was doing there was not enough for Daniel to distract him from whatever he’s doing through his phone. 

 

Once they have their suitcases ready, they bid their goodbyes to Minhyun’s sister and leave taking a bus to the other part of the city where Daniel mother lives. It doesn’t take too long until they arrive to Daniels home, but they do it tired and almost sweating because they had to walk a little bit pulling their cases till they reach his door.

 

Daniel’s house is similar to Minhyun’s but smaller. Maybe because Minhyun has a sister and Daniel is an only child; and his mother raised him alone, so they didn’t have any kind of luxuries or excess of anything. 

This time, Minhyun doesn’t have any reason to sleep with Daniel at all. But it seems that Daniel has when he suggest to sleep together in his mother’s bedroom. Minhyun blushes at the thought because he respects his mother and doesn’t understand very well the reason for them to invade her personal space at her own home regardless of her not being physically here, so when Daniel proposes it, he waves it off rapidly suggesting to sleep at Daniel’s room better.

 

Once Daniel is convinced of what they are going to do and they have everything on its place, Daniel discovers that his mother left a cake mix already prepared for them to cook and eat if they wish. Of course he would convince Minhyun to cook it together. And of course it would be Minhyun’s deal because he’s the one who knows how to cook, so here you have Daniel watching and handling the different missing ingredients to make the dough.

It doesn’t take long for Minhyun to finish it and put it inside the oven as Daniel’s mom already did the big part, and although he had to do it almost alone, at least is happy that they are going to eat some chocolate brownie because of Daniels stubbornness for trying it.

 

 

“You love chocolate, so you’ll love it” Had Daniel assured him when he finally convinced him to at least cook it.

“Yeah, and you love me and you don’t cook me” Minhyun glared at Daniel not expecting his astonished face, looking at him with a smirk plastered on his mouth.

“I could, should I pour you some salt or sugar?” Daniel walks to him grabbing the salt from the worktop. Minhyun looks at him, then at the dough and then at Daniel again.

“Aaah… I don’t think you need to pour me anything, I’m fantastic as I am…” Minhyun turns to Daniel who is getting closer to him and puts both hands raised on his chest trying to stop him.

“Then should I taste you?” The smirk on Daniel’s face is still as brilliant as before and now Minhyun wants to punch it away while he tries to cover his blushed cheeks. 

“Esh, of course not, you moron” 

 

 

Minhyun still doesn’t know what would have happened if he hadn’t pushed Daniel away. Same as what is going on with his heart rate and why hasn’t it stopped already, because the brownie is already ready to be eaten and he hasn’t been able to calm himself down.

 

All the cells in his body are screaming and the fact that he doesn’t know why is making him to be more anxious. 

 

“Let’s eat!” Daniel jumps from the sofa bringing a knife and the brownie almost cooled down, ready for them to eat. Minhyun has to roll his eyes, but a playful smile opens its way through his lips, seating down next to him, he reaches the knife first.

“How much would you like? Shall I split it like this?” Minhyun looks at Daniel waiting for the answer, but the view that he finds, kind of makes him doze off a little bit, because he finds Daniel attractive. He’s excited and actually looks like a kid about to open his birthday gifts, but somehow Daniel gives off an aura that grabs Minhyun’s attention and creates an special attraction towards the boy.

“Like this is fine” The moment is broken when Daniel speaks, bringing back Minhyun to earth and now focusing on the knife that he’s holding with his right hand.

 

He cuts the brownie in 6 pieces, more or less the exact same size each so they both can enjoy it equally, Daniel arguing that he could have cut it bigger or smaller to eat more. Sometimes is really easy to forget how much food can Daniel eat, Minhyun still doesn’t understand how is it possible that he’s so well fitted.

What he also discovers is a box full of candies prepared for Daniel also in the kitchen. _Really, Kang Daniel… how are you so spoiled_.

 

 

“Ah, how can you eat so fast, you’ll get an stomach ache if you do so” 

“Minhyunie, I want more… give me yours…”Daniel pouts trying to reach Minhyun’s hand, but the latest is fast enough to move further away from Daniel and stands up doing what he just told Daniel not to do: eating his portion as fast as he can, not facing the younger.

 

Daniel tries to reach him standing also up but he ends falling to the sofa, assuring himself to bring Minhyun as the younger surrounds his waist with his firm arms bringing him down. Minhyun, ends up seating in Daniel’s lap, panicking the moment he does so. But Daniel doesn’t surrender so easily because he doesn’t know that Minhyun has eaten everything that he had in his hand and now is trying to chew it all hiding his mouth from Daniel’s view.

 

“Seriously Minhyun?” 

 

Although both are tall and in good shape, Daniel despite of being younger has the strength to lift Minhyun and put it lying on the sofa, cornering him on top. At this time, Minhyun has already swallowed everything and is free, so when he looks at Daniel from below, opens his hands and shows him nothing while he silently laughs, Daniel frowning at his sight. They both stare at each other for a while and Minhyun can swear he feels the tension in the air because the silence in Daniel turns awkward and is making him be more nervous. If Daniel is aware of it or not, is a mystery for him.

 

“I’m going to get some jelly”

 

And as fast as Daniel says that, he disappears into the kitchen leaving Minhyun flushing hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the chapter and continue reading this, I'm aware it took me a few more days to update, but i've been busy af because of uni and istg my uni days are going to kill me so I won't be alive when summer arrives.
> 
> BTW! HAVE YOU SEEN THE TEASER PICTURES? AND MINHYUN WITH RED HAIR? /screams internally 
> 
> I'll be back with another chapter next week! <3
> 
>  
> 
> (I've created a curiouscat acc for you just in case you have questions or wanna talk~ https://curiouscat.me/nielnyeon heh)


	8. in love?

“You are in love, Minhyun.” 

 

Minhyun looks at Jisung with wide eyes, shaking his head effusively. He’s not in love, for Gods sake. 

 

“I am not, stop saying nonsense.” Jisung crosses his arms looking at Minhyun with knowing eyes.

“Tell me, do you like Daniel?” 

 

It takes longer than ever to Minhyun for answering that simple question, but he ends up blurting what he can.

 

“Yes, of course I do, as everyone does! Who doesn’t like Kang Daniel?” 

“You know in what sense I’m talking, so be sincere with me Minhyun.” The voice tone in Jisung is kind of serious and that makes Minhyun freeze in his spot.

“Maybe. I just know that I’m nervous, that I’m afraid I’ll loose him, that I hate that sometimes I feel he’s hiding something and I know what he’s hiding might hurt me but I need to know.” Minhyun sighs after revealing part of his thoughts to Jisung.

“Well… It’s not too late, you can still be his friend. Only.” Minhyun looks at Jisung not understanding a word.

“I don’t want to be his boyfriend, I just want him to notice me the way I notice him… I want to be… his friend.” Jisung rolls his eyes at Minhyun’s whisper.

“Yeah, whatever you say now. Look” he leans to the table te get closer to Minhyun “you might think all of that but do you ever feel the same with anybody else? I mean, look at me, or better, look at Jinyoung.”

“Jisung, Jinyoung is a kid. And no, I don’t feel the same towards anyone, damn I thought it was going to be good to talk to you because you would be able to help me and you’re not helping me at all” Minhyun closes his eyes rubbing his hands all over his face.

“I am helping you” Jisung clicks his tongue. “You asked me for help because you didn’t know what was happening to you and I already told you. If you’re not in love, you’re falling for Daniel.”

 

 

Minhyun came back to Seoul with Daniel after spending two days at Daniel’s house, today is his last holiday day and his mind was so busy thinking that he had to ask help to the only head he knew was at least a little bit experienced. He thought about telling Seungwoo, about asking for help, but he knew that what Jisung told him just now was right. He didn’t want to believe it but it was confirmed by him so he might actually be falling in love with Daniel. There was also the possibility that Daniel was only a crush to him but the simply thought scared him so much, he was on the verge to cry the latest night once he got home. And If Seungwoo knew, he would tell Daniel. And Daniel can’t know it yet.

 

How possibly is he in love when he doesn’t want to face Daniel, when the only thing he wants to do is run away. Run away from what? _My own feelings. Because this is wrong, Daniel is my friend, I can’t be feeling this way, I should be mature enough for this, so why am I feeling like this?_

 

Minhyun wanted to scream. 

 

“Jisung, help me.” 

“Minhyun… You have several options, you can hide and be Daniel’s friend or you can try accepting your feelings and slowly letting Daniel know about them.”

“I’m not even sure I love him, how am I going to accept nothing… and by no means I’m telling Daniel about this. And you’ll do the same. Please. Don’t tell him” Minhyun is about to beg putting his hands together intertwining his fingers.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell Daniel anything” Jisung shocks his head sighing “but you better figure it out what you’re going to do before you start suffering. Because you will.”

 

Minhyun is bitting his lower lip when he leaves Jisung, they have college tomorrow and he needs to finish unpacking and preparing for next day. He feels so off and alive at the same time it’s annoying. 

When he thinks about the things he’s done with Daniel these days, the things that have happened, he smiles because they have been together, alone, and they have done whatever they wanted however they were feeling. He also thinks about the bad things, because he can’t forget them. He can’t forget the feeling when Daniel was more pending of his mobile than him and the things they were doing together. 

 

When he reaches home, he continues with his unpacking silently in his room, not wanting to bother anyone at home because he feels like he’s going to cry, so if he does, at least he wants to do it alone. 

_What is Daniel doing? What are his thoughts about this past days? Does he miss me? Miss… me?_ Minhyun shakes his head trying to brush those thoughts off, erasing them, forever. _No, I can’t be doing myself this. I am his friend and I’m going to keep being his friend_.

 

Once he’s finished and his suitcase is empty, he puts it outside his room because his mother will be the one to decide where to keep it or clean it before, so he returns to his room and seats on his bed, takes his mobile phone and looks at his notifications.

 

He frowns at the sight of one in specific, but Daniel has texted him and this is more important.

 

From: _Daniel_

 

_ Hey, just wanted to thank you for these days at your place, thank your sister from my behalf. I hope we can meet like this again~ _

 

Minhyun automatically smiles, feeling the ease of the moment because Daniel is happy and he doesn’t regret and wants to meet again. So that supposed to mean that he wants to meet alone together, right?

 

To: _Daniel_

 

_ Thank you for staying with me, it was my pleasure. I’ll tell my sister, but she’ll say that there’s no need to thank anything. We can met whenever you want~ _

 

Once he’s sent the message, he goes back to his notifications, taps the one from twitter that is making him to half-close his eyes and reads it.

 

To @ **minnieh** : Minionie, wanna meet this Wednesday? I know you have class… maybe at 4? Cafe Lyon~?

 

To @ **sohyunie** : So sudden… Okay, you pay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I decided to upload a little bit earlier this week because I'm not sure I'll be able to upload this weekend. If everything goes well I'll upload on sunday, If my head betrays me and doesn't let me concentrate on my thesis then I'll have to move it to next week. We'll see...
> 
> So... who's that Sohyun and why does she want to meet our Minhyunie?  
> And surprise, something that we already knew, Minhyun is in love!
> 
> Hehe... I hope your liking it so far and see you next day!  
> (If you want to ask me anything (related to this fanfic or not) and you don't feel comfortable commenting, I've created a curiouscat acc, so ask me anything there or just let me know whatever opinions you have @ curiouscat.me/nielnyeon <3)


	9. sohyun

Sohyun and Minhyun haven’t talked in two months, so when Minhyun received her message, the shock was important. 

 

 

“Woo-hoo, emperor Minhyun arriving late? I thought you were ditching me” Sohyun raises his hand with his drink calling his attention as his eyes rapidly focus on her after not having noticed her presence before.

 

She looks exactly like two months ago when Minhyun decided to take a break and part ways with her. They weren’t exactly together, but they weren’t only friends either.

She still has that aura that makes her look exotic, something that paired perfectly with Minhyun, as everyone said when they were seen hanging with each other. Minhyun didn’t deny back then that he felt something towards Sohyun, and she did too, but only used him as a distraction from her actual boyfriend, Jonghyun. And yes, it was pretty awkward when they met all together and Minhyun had to do as if he’d never kissed Jonghyun’s girlfriend or as if she never begged him to stay a little longer for cuddles and he said ‘yes’. He didn’t like it, he hated to be “the other one” and although he loved Sohyun, a day in which he decided to cut any relation with her arrived.

 

“Believe me, I was about to do so when the curiosity to know why you wanted to talk so sudden crushed me and made me come here.” Minhyun takes a seat in front of her and gives her a sweet smile. Because although for him might be a little bitter, they were great friends. 

“Yah, don’t you have any remaining feelings towards me? Not even pity or love or whatever?” Sohyun pouts crossing his arms resting on her seat and Minhyun shocks his head.

“I’m fine. How have you been?” 

“Well… I’ve been better, but I can’t complain” Sohyun talks after a little pause and relaxes a little bit as the conversation starts to flow. “I wanted to know if you wanted to come to a years end party tomorrow night. You know, you can invite whomever you want… it’s at Jonghyuns, you already know his house and blablabla…”

“So are you…?” Before Minhyun can finish asking, she waves with a frown.

“No, no, I broke with him last month. You already know why” Minhyun sighs because he’s already seeing where this conversation is leading and his feelings are not the same as before and he doesn’t want to hurt her either. “I gave you… another month to breathe and maybe forget me, but I think…” Sohyun makes a pause getting too emotional and Minhyun is already desperate for this conversation to end. “I think that if I give you more time, you will forget me and you won’t come back to me. Nor as a friend, nor as something else… and that scares me”

 

At this point Minhyun doesn’t know if he wants to run away, to comfort her or to be killed in some bizarre way. 

 

“Sohyun-ah… you know that I’m not into parties, right? I don’t belong to them.”

“Is this a sort of way of telling me you don’t want to be my friend anymore?” 

“No, this is a way of reminding you I don’t like parties and that if I arrive late it’s going to be because I won’t decide until last moment.”

“Almost forgot you were a killjoy.”

 

Sohyun tilts her head while a smile captures her lips, knowing that he will go only with that sentence although he hasn’t said so yet. 

Minhyun, raises an eyebrow trying not to smile while doing it because he doesn’t want her to know that he’s somehow glad she’s coming back to his life. He could use that as a distraction, a distraction from Daniel. He only has to manage her feelings and establish a kind of… distance and limits with her.

 

“If I go to that party, I don’t want you to think that everything is alright” Minhyun makes a pause wondering if he should say it out loud or not “and I have some issues in my head that need to be solved and until I know how to do it I think I won’t be able to be the Minhyun you knew two months ago”.

“Minhyunie? Is anyone dying? How’s your sister? God, I miss her so much” She opens her eyes, widening them speaking as if she just realized about that fact and that makes Minhyun laugh.

“No one’s dying, don’t worry” Minhyun shocks his head with a smile and continues “my sister’s fine, just came back a few days ago from staying with her in Busan.”

 

_Why do I feel like I’m hiding something. Because I am. I am hiding Daniel from my life._

 

They spend an hour checking each others life, updating themselves and confessing that Sohyun has been stalking Minhyun a little bit through social networks, getting angry because the boy doesn’t say much in them. That also made Minhyun laugh, and think that may be he had been too serious with Sohyun when he cut things off with her, that maybe those things weren’t necessary and he was overreacting because he could have tolerated everything. Just a regular talk and let Sohyun know where she stands, or maybe force things and try it out with her.

 

That sweet melancholy invades him acting as a placebo for all the things he had been running in his mind those past days regarding Daniel.

 

How they haven’t talked more since last text, how it looked like Daniel had returned to his own life excluding Minhyun. 

Although he had done the same, he didn’t feel like it because he had present Daniel whenever and wherever he was, so for Minhyun it’s not fair. Because Daniel hasn’t done the same. He hasn’t been thinking about him the same way as Minhyun had.

 

Once he gets home, he starts texting all his friends, including Daniel and Seungwoo. He wishes he could invite Jinyoung, but he’s still too young, so no parties for him. The surprise arrives when most of them already knew about it and already decided to go. So it was him the one setting the “all together” thing.

 

From Daniel:

_ I thought you weren’t into parties? How come you’re going? _

 

To Daniel:

_ I thought you had to study? How come you’re going? _

 

From Daniel:

_ Yah, I’m a freshman, I have to do this kind of things, you know…? You didn’t answer my question- _

 

To Daniel:

_ The fact that I’m not into parties doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy life a little bit. I think it will be fun. _

 

From Daniel:

_ Good. See you there, then. _

 

 

Minhyun looks at his wardrobe and starts wondering what he’s going to wear. How do you dress to a Year’s end party?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, you might not like the fact that Sohyun is going to be somehow relevant in Minhyun's life, so she's going to appear a few more times. (I won't write chapters with only her, so don't worry)
> 
> I managed to upload today regardless of all the work that i have to do... I'm not sure I'll be able to upload again until next friday - sunday because of exams and papers.  
> Next chapter will have a wider perspective and won't be only focused on Minhyun, we'll have some insight from Daniel and Seungwoo too.
> 
> I wonder if some of you have the same sensation or not, but the fact that i made Seungwoo best friends with Daniel rather than Minhyun will be explained later. I hope you will manage to understand... 
> 
>  
> 
> Once again, thank you for reading and I hope you liked it <3


	10. the party

Minhyun is already there. That’s the first thing that Daniel notices when he enters Jonghyun’s house. He’s not exactly friends with him, but his friends are, so in the end everything is alright. He had managed to invite Joeun, so if he feels out of place, he has a security person. It shouldn’t happen though, all his friends are there, but JUST-IN-CASE.

 

Seungwoo grins at him signaling to the group of people thats gathered in front of them in the living room.

 

“Oh, baby Daniel’s arriveeeed!!” Shouts Jisung, standing to embrace Daniel and make him join them seating in one of the sofas.

“I’m not a baby, you know my birthday was two weeks ago…” Daniel pouts seating next to Seungwoo, making himself comfortable.

 

Everyone laughs following the conversation insisting in Daniel being a baby regardless of his age, but Daniel doesn’t mind anymore, he doesn’t even try to refute because Minhyun is laughing in front of him. He’d missed spending time with him, but this week has been awful for him because of classes; he knew that there was a party for New year’s so he wanted to set everything before he could get wasted today.

 

Jonghyun’s house is actually really big, it reminded him of the typical American houses with two floors and a terrace with a swimming pool, something that he could never dream of and it actually looked out of place. Of course he didn’t live in the capital or that kind of house might have been impossible to have, but he wasn’t that far from it. That is one of the main reasons he got here late.

Jonghyun provided the place and the rest provided the food and drinks, so it was quite normal to see the room filled withall kind of snacks, pizza, and even some noodles. Daniel smiled at that because he loved noodles and he will make sure he doesn’t leave without trying them.

 

People started arriving one hour before Daniel did, so when he got there everything was set and everyone was chatting animatedly already. It wasn’t hard for him to integrate and be comfortable around people, and he was trying his best not to get drunk and focus on the party and just to have fun, but it is kind of hard when all drinks that surround you are alcohol.

 

“Daniel, look at Minhyun” Seungwoo approaches him with a big smile, whispering so no-one else listens to his words. 

 

Daniel does so, he searches Minhyun out in the room, following Seungwoo’s eyes. Immediately, a frown is formed in his face and without moving away his look, whispers back to his friend.

 

“Isn’t that the girl that used to hang out with Minhyun?” 

“Yeah, the same one Minhyun cut things off. They look good together, don’t you think?” Seungwoo looks at Daniel, sitting next to him.

“Mmh… not at all.”

“No? Maybe they are trying things out as she’s no longer Jonghyun’s girlfriend?”

 

Daniel hates to admit it, but they do look really good together. He knew about the relationship that Minhyun had with that girl months ago because he was one of those friends Minhyun relied sometimes to vent. He doesn’t understand right now what is happening, why are they together again when Minhyun said he wouldn’t befriend Sohyun again, why are they laughing together and why is Minhyun so concentrated on her when Jonghyun is just in front of them. He doesn’t seem to be bothered though, maybe he knew it all the time? Did they actually break up then? 

 

The need of storming between those two suddenly rushed him, but the hand in his shoulder makes him realize that what he is doing is not coherent. He looks at Seungwoo, who’s asking him if he wants a beer, he nods accepting it and turns his view to Minhyun’s direction only to find out that he’s nowhere to be found now. Fantastic. So it’s time to distract himself.

 

“I’m going to get Joeun.”

 

 

Minhyun, on the other side, arrived to the party just in time with Jisung, seeing Sohyun enter to the house two minutes after. They didn’t talk much until everyone was settled and everything was on its place just waiting for Daniel and Seungwoo to arrive, so when the girl got a chance to talk to him, she just took her seat next to him and grabbed all his attention. 

It didn’t last long, as when Daniel arrived Minhyun’s attention completely disappeared. He wasn’t even able to focus only in one thing, although his eyes were looking at Sohyun, his mind was in Daniel, so in the end he couldn’t pay attention to any of them. Only when the conversation involves everyone he’s able to follow and laugh, but when it ends and everyone focuses in their own private conversations, Minhyun’s mind is already a mess.

 

“Hey, mind if we talk somewhere more… private?” She said, looking at him.

“More private…? Yeah, sure?” Minhyun frowns although he tries to smile when he’s dragged away from the place and pulled to an empty room on the first floor.

 

In that moment, Sohyun closes the door with his gaze directed to the floor, walking slowly to Minhyun. He looks at her with concern, suddenly nervous because he didn’t want to give her the impression that she had a chance with him, but it looked like she thought different.

 

“What did you want to talk about..?”

 

Minhyun looks clueless to Sohyun, her smile is sad when she walks to him and pushes his torso making him fall to the bed, steading his body with his hands. She leans to him with a hand on his shoulder and ends up sitting on his lap wrapping his arms around Minhyuns neck still maintaining the prudential distance between their bodies.

 

“You know… I broke off with Jonghyun because of you…? I’m sorry I didn’t have the courage before, I should have done it sooner” Sohyun looks like she’s about to cry looking directly at his face and his only response is to close his eyes and sigh.

“Look, you didn’t have to do anything, okay? It’s fine, I’m fine-“ He’s cut off before he can say anymore.

“I KNOW YOU ARE. But I am not fine, Minhyun. I want you.”

 

The shout paralyzed Minhyun who looks at her with wide eyes, Sohyun starting to shed a tear and before he can reply, the door is fully open. Behind it appears a smiley and giggly girl who stops on her spot with Daniel behind her, peeking from her shoulder although he’s probably a head taller than her. 

At this, Sohyun hides his face in Minhyuns neck and he looks at the couple with a thousand thoughts in mind.

 

“Woops, I think this is already occupied… sorry~!” Minhyun supposes that the girl who speaks is Joeun, in fact he recognizes her because of that pointed face, and again wonders what can Daniel see in her.

 

Nobody else says a thing, but Minhyun’s gaze could say a million things and Daniel is not in the mood to decipher or be comprehensible. _This is not what you think it is… I’m not… Don’t look at me like that… Don’t be mad at me._

 

Daniel closes the door not wanting to interrupt the other couple more, not wanting to see anymore and follows Joeun in dead silence. He wants to smile just as much as the girl does, but he’s not in the mood for that, maybe not in the mood for anything. He just wants to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uf, things are going wrongggg...  
> I'm afraid this had to happen. I'm sorrrry... I'm making you suffer a little bit but it's necessary- don't hate me T_T
> 
> I'll be back- I hope sooner than later, can't promise anything!
> 
> PS: the album is amazing and i love daniel and minhyun and all of them, god save me juseyo  
> PS2: i love you all <3


	11. jealousy

“I should leave” murmurs Daniel more to himself than anyone, but well, Joeun is close so she hears him.  
“What?” Joeun turns to face him questioning.  
“Nothing… I just don’t feel really good, I’m sorry”

Daniel doesn’t even look at her when he turns an leaves almost in a hurry downstairs, almost reaching the front door when Seungwoo grabs him by his nape, stopping him.

“Where are you going, Daniel?” Seungwoo frowns looking at his expression, trying to decipher it just in case Daniel doesn’t say anything.

Daniel looks at Seungwoo and for a second his friend has the slight sensation that he’s about to cry, so he accompanies Daniel outside to the cold winter.  
Daniel sits on the curb in front of the house shrinking without looking at Seungwoo, but the last doesn’t seem to mind as he sits next to him with a hand caressing Daniel’s left shoulder.

“What has happened…? Breath it out, I know you can.”  
“I saw Minhyun,” Daniel starts to the surprise of Seungwoo. “With that girl. In a room.”  
“Holly molly, you saw Minhyun in action with that girl? Tell me at least that their bodies were covered with the sheets?”  
“Seungwoo, please.” Daniel looks at him with an incredulous look, “they weren’t doing it, you dumbass. They were just… I don’t know, she was on top of him, he was on the bed… I don’t know.”  
“Naked?” Seungwoo opens his eyes wide almost visualising it in his mind.  
“Oh my God… NO, no, no, they weren’t naked” Daniel shakes his head almost screaming looking furiously at Seungwoo which only smiles at him.  
“If they weren’t naked, why are you so shocked, Daniel?”  
“Because… because…. I don’t know, I just don’t feel good, just leave me alone.”

Seungwoo had a point there and he was just trying to make him understand that what he was feeling is not normal, and that he was making a fuss out of nothing. Or at least that is what Seungwoo thinks, because it shouldn’t be a big deal for Daniel nor anyone who doesn’t have feelings for him.

“You don’t feel good because it’s 31st December and we’re out here freezing when we should be getting wasted warm inside”

Seungwoo smiles understanding the boy, he doesn’t want to talk now because he needs to see which perspective he needs to take to approach the subject and now he doesn’t have enough information more than the observation.

“Hey, let’s go inside, it’s about to be midnight, you won’t want to miss it... “

Daniel nods, not really sure if he does it because he doesn’t want to miss it or because he’s actually freezing outside. When he gets in, he stays close to Seungwoo although they are surrounded by the other dozens of teenagers who are laughing, chatting and drinking. He internally thanks God no one is drunk already, but now he wishes he was.  
He doesn’t want to do it, but in the end he does look for Minhyun, first looking at the girl whose back is facing him again and later on looks at Minhyun, who is holding her tight by her waist.

  
For Minhyun to get to where he is now, he has had to stop Sohyun previously in the room. When Daniel disappeared behind that door, he lowered his gaze and sighed, he wasn’t even holding her when she pulled away and let herself fall to the ground with tears in her eyes.

“Your feelings are not the same as before, right?” Minhyun only wished that she wouldn’t cry at the truth that he was going to tell.  
“I told you already that I am not the same Minhyun you knew months ago...”  
“So when you said... Issues in your head... you meant you’re in love with someone else” The girl smiled letting her tears fall and hanging her head down. “And you have troubles because it’s an unrequited love?”  
“It’s... difficult to tell...” Minhyun bent his body and touched one of her hands, trying to pull her up.  
“It’s ok, I can understand” She finally looked at him whipping her tears away, paying attention to his hand and effort to lift her.  
“I can’t be your boyfriend, nor anything more than a friend... I’m sorry Sohyun...” She nodded and walked to the door.  
“Could you please... leave me alone for a while? I promise i will meet you in a few minutes, I just need to be alone for a while”

Minhyun doubted for a second the safety of the girl, but she had promised so he stood up and headed out of the room with a concerned look to her.  
He waited for a few minutes, door closed, staying as quiet as he could just to hear what was happening behind that door. He heard Sohyun cry, but apart from that, the girl seemed to be fine. When she cooled down, she opened the door and walked out grabbing his hand.

“We can still be friends, right?” She had smiled to him in the saddest way he had ever seen. “Friends... I’m not late for this, right?”  
“Yeah.... of course.”

Minhyun had felt so forced. Regardless of his feelings and the willing to still be her friend, it was so unnecessary and extra that it was overwhelming. Maybe it wasn’t so good of idea to try to befriend someone like her on the first place to distract himself from Daniel, which by the way he needed to talk with.

He feels sorry for the girl, that’s why he decides to spend all the rest of the night accompanying her, because furthermore, he has this feeling of being guilty and responsible for her and it is making him want to throw up. This situation is his fault, he should have make things clear before anything could happen.

Midnight arrives with the countdown and all of them seem to be having a good time, but truth is, now is time to put the music louder and to actually drink.  
Although most of them had already drunk before, now they were going to do without any restraint. Good thing that Minhyun has a low alcohol tolerance and he has been controlling himself until now. He doesn’t ask for Daniel because he can see him half drunk already with their friends and he doesn’t want to bother, so he tries talking to the few other friends he’s comfortable with.

  
“I’m not talking to him.” He tells Jisung.  
“Why not? you should talk to him” Jisung makes a pause, blinks twice and waves with his hands “maybe not. You’re drunk, who knows what you can say”  
“Lots of things” Minhyun nods as he’s convinced he made a point with Jisung and smiles “actually no, I’m too scared to say a thing, I wouldn’t tell him anything, I probably would complicate things, I mean why would he be mad at me, right? maybe it’s my own head making tricks to me and he’s not mad, because he has no reason at all to be mad because he has that blonde girl which I personally don’t like at all and-“  
“Minionie, stop, you’re blabbering to much to my poor head...” Jisung sighs and Minhyun tries to breath. “Just leave my sight and go talk to him, do as if nothing happened and you will see that it’s not that bad?”

Minhyun pouts, feeling rejected from the only support that can understand him, so he leaves, glass in hand and heads to nowhere in particular, looking for Daniel. Or that is what he wants to look like when inside he’s struggling to stay on his spot and not leave the party all by himself. This is the moment when he sees all the noodle cups piled in the kitchen. He might be drunk, but he could still do something as easy as make some instant noodles and at least have something to start talking to Daniel first.

His first attempt doesn’t go that bad, so when he has everything set up, he just looks out with both hands carrying the large cups. He really can’t find Daniel, but his eyes locate Seungwoo.

“Do you know where-“ Minhyun can feel the words slip from his tongue with difficulty. Like he has to actually vocalise a ton more.  
“Daniel is in the backyard, be careful.”

Minhyun nods several times and starts walking to he closest backdoor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will probably edit this because it’s like 7 in the morning and I’ve just finished writing this and i didn’t want you to keep waiting. I’ll probably update soon because although i have still some asignments for college, I found a little bit of free time hehe~  
> I cut his chapter like this because we are going to have full nielnyeon next. 
> 
> I need to ask you if you’re comfortable reading it like this (changing points of view)  
> For me it’s good because you get to know almost the full story and it’s easier to understand and see the misunderstandings between everyone.  
> If you don’t like it, I think that after that party, I’m not going to do it anymore, but please let me know what you think. 
> 
> Thank you and sorry for any mistakes, i’ll try to correct them once i wake up-
> 
> Love <3


	12. i missed you

Minhyun finds Daniel as Seungwoo said in the backyard, sitting in a bank in front of what looks like a fountain, he’s not sure about what he’s doing there, but he doesn’t care at the moment. He walks to him with both hands occupied with the ramyun cups, positioning himself in front of him trying to at least catch his attention before siting next to him. Maybe he can get his approval too, but the truth is that Daniel slowly rises his head and looks at him almost terrified.

 

“What… what are you doing here?” Daniel frowns seeing him without a jacket. “Go inside, you’re going to freeze out here…”

 

Minhyun shakes his head and offers one of the instant noodles cup to him, still not saying a word. Maybe if he does and Daniel discovers that he’s drunk he will push him away and this is the last thing that he wants.

Daniel, after thinking it thrice, grabs the cup with both hands and drifts his look to the smoke that tells him that it’s still too hot to be eaten. When Daniel does so, Minhyun takes the opportunity to sit next to him as if nothing, with a tiny smile stuck on his face, as if he had any reason to be happy.

 

They become silent because Minhyun is not willing to risk his time alone with him and Daniel seems to be happy enough with his noodles which in any case are going to make him feel warmer in the cold night. He starts eating, and Minhyun can’t look at any other place that is not Daniel, eyeing him trying to know if he likes it or not. As he continues eating without saying a word Minhyun’s smile widens and starts eating his noodles too. Too immersed in his own bliss cloud, he doesn’t realize that he’s almos trembling and his stomach is all tensed up because of the cold, but Daniel does when he finishes his cup of ramyun and looks at him with fearful eyes. Something doesn’t match, Minhyun is too happy; not too quiet, he’s always been therefore the fact that he keeps his mouth shut is not something remarkable. 

 

Daniel looks at Minhyun, just doing the same as the older had done with him instants before, waiting for him to finish his noodles. Minhyun feels it, Daniels gaze, he even looks at him for a second, regretting it next and finishing eating, leaves his cup of noodles on the floor, aware that this is against his own rules of neatness. He’s not neat right now, he’s half drunk to say the less and his mind is working really lazily.

 

“Are you going to tell me what are you doing here?”

 

Because he wasn’t paying attention, when Daniel speaks he straights up in his spot and looks at him again, not expecting what the younger does next. Because he’s not replying, Daniel snorts and takes off his jacket, placing it above Minhyun’s shoulders to the older’s surprise. 

 

“I missed you.” 

 

Minhyun is looking at Daniel with tender eyes, he’s not smiling anymore but he’s not showing any other feel like sadness, he’s just there with his poker face, motionless.

 

“It was just a week…” 

 

Of course he could have said that he missed him too, but why would he do that, with what reason would he say those words. _I missed you too, Minionie…_ Words he can’t dare to say, not even when Minhyun is now frowning at his other words.

 

“I don’t care, I missed you.” 

 

What Minhyun does next, makes Daniel tense up as the older has never done anything similar before to him. Daniel could have never imagined himself in a situation like this with the older boy, but here he is with Minhyun placing his chin in his shoulder and hugging him making himself comfortable with a tiny smile, looking at the younger’s face face.

 

“What…”

“I thought you were mad at me” Minhyun cuts him off, changing his head position as he now rests his temple on the other’s shoulder. “I… thought you…”

 

He doesn’t finish the sentence, Daniel doesn’t know why because he doesn’t dare to look at him taking into account the proximity of his face, he’s probably not going to need his jacket back in a while. When seconds turn minutes, he can’t stand the situation anymore so he pushes Minhyun away holding him by his shoulders and tries to look at his face, but Minhyun has his eyes closed as stays with his head down.

 

“Minionie?” Daniel rolls his eyes, of course Minhyun would have drunk something so he’s now passed away. “Really… you had to drink out of all nights, today”

 

He doubts thinking for a few minutes if he can awake him or what can he do with the older boy, but as minutes pass, his body starts to freeze again, so he ends up shaking Minhyun’s body.

 

“Wake up, let’s go inside…” Minhyun opens his eyes slowly, narrowing them when he sees Daniel’s eyes fixated on him. “Let’s go inside.” Daniel stands up but before he can make a step away from the older, Minhyun grabs his hand and stops him.

“Don’t go yet… stay with me.” Minhyun pouts a little bit, blushing under his drunk façade. Daniel flicks his tongue sighing next.

“I’m freezing and I’m pretty sure you are too. If you don’t want to come, at least let me go.”

 

Daniels tone of voice sounds more piercing that it should have sound like, but he can’t do nothing when Minhyun’s eyes widen and slowly let go of his hand. For Minhyun that was tough, as if Daniel had nailed a dagger in his stomach, _so neat_. He’s hurt, maybe ten thousands more than if he wasn’t drunk because Daniel doesn’t want to be by his side. He only wants to be alone with him, but why words are so heavy in his tongue? 

 

“Daniel, are you mad at me?” Minhyun lowers his head again, fixing his eyes in Daniel’s shoes. The younger takes a while to answer, but after a sigh, he shakes his head.

“I’m not mad at you, why are you asking?”

“Because you saw me earlier with Sohyun, I thought you would be mad at me for not telling you.” He whispers back.

“You can do whatever you want, is not my business.” Daniel turns to walk away, but before he can leave, Minhyun speaks. 

“I’m just his friend. We weren’t doing anything strange...”

“Minhyun, I don’t know what you’re thinking about, but stop saying nonsenses, you’re drunk and by the way... you should go inside.” Daniel braces himself and finally starts walking to the backdoor, leaving Minhyun alone with his own tears. 

 

_ I can’t confess. He will push me further away.  _

 

Daniel meets Seungwoo inside craving alcohol as if he hadn’t had enough when the truth is that it’s four a.m. and he has had enough for the entire night, so the drink that he has in his hand, Daniel steals it and drinks it as if it was water.He looks for more while meeting his friends, talking in the kitchen as most of the people starts leaving or is falling asleep. 

 

“Hey Daniel, have you seen Minhyun? I can’t find him anywhere.” Jisung approaches him with a concerned look. 

“Yeah, he’s outside, in front of the fountain. He wouldn’t come inside.” 

 

Daniels answer leaves Jisung perplexed, so the oldest boy leaves all his friends and goes outside looking for Minhyun. When he finds the boy sitting in the bank with the two cups of instant noodles on the floor, he frowns and hunks down to reach him placing his hands on Minhyuns knees.

 

“Minionie, you’re going to freeze in here... are you okay?” The sweet voice in Jisung makes Minhyun smile, hiding behind all his preoccupation for his relationship with Daniel.

“Yeah... I think i’m a little bit drunk? But this cold is helping me a lot.” 

“I’m glad you’re fine, but I don’t want an iced cube as a friend, so you better come with me, I don’t know how you’re even able to speak...” Jisung takes Minhyuns almost frozen hands and pulls knowing that he won’t complain anymore and he will follow him inside. 

 

Halfway, Minhyun takes Daniels jacket off from his shoulders and hands it to Jisung with the words “Give it back to Daniel for me, please”. After, he runs inside and locks himself in a bathroom. 

 

What a long night. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, that was sooner than expected, so double update this week. :)  
> I said it was going to be full nielnyeon, but I never said it was going to be happy...(?????)  
> I'm expecting to update this soon, but I can't say an exact date, I'm sorry for that... 
> 
> I hope you keep liking this and still keep bearing with me, sorry for any mistakes.
> 
> <3


	13. shut up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took suuuuper long to update (i shouldn't be updating but wtv)
> 
> I've been really sick and had to be in the hospital a few times these past weeks, so it was impossible for me to update... I'm sorry!  
> I'm more or less fine now so here's a new chapter!

Everything could have been amazing, he could have had a quiet night, full of laughter and bliss, but no, of course, everything had to turn wrong. 

 

He can’t remember what else happened after he disappeared locking himself in the bathroom, but he’s now in his own house, under his own blankets, and with a strong headache. He doesn’t know what time is it, but something tells him he doesn’t even want to know, because looking at his window everything is dark. He opts to close his eyes again, maybe fall asleep and wake up when everything feels right again, so he tugs his sheets over his head and prepares to sleep again. 

His phone buzzes but he’s not in the mood to look at who is talking to him so he ignores it. He’s sure he wants to ignore it the first three times it buzzes, but the fifth he groans in agony popping his head out from bed and searches for it with his hand. He left it somewhere, he can’t remember doing it, but he knows it’s on his nightstand because of the sound of it rubbing the wood. 

Once he gets it, he covers his head again and rubs his eyes with one hand narrowing them trying to see better what’s displaying on the screen. One missed call from Sohyun, several text messages from Jisung, another one from Jinyoung and a few others which are not of his interest.

 

**Jisung**

Yo, Minhyun

Hope your mom is not too angry at u

She was pretty scary u know

ull have to pay me back though?

I told her you fell and blacked out

Luckily you didn’t smell like alcohol

I think I did???????

Btw

Sohyun s asking 4u in the group chat 

you have it silenced, RIGHT?

I’m going to annoy you like this anyway so what’s the point 

MINHYUUUUUNNNNN

In which terms r u with her now? I deserve to know, I mean u told me about Daniel not longer than a week ago

What happened?

YAH WAKE UP ALREADY

Curiosity is killllingg meeeeeee 

CANT YOU SEEE

 

**Minhyun**

Curiosity killed the cat

 

**Jisung**

YAH. DONT BE MEAN WITH AN OLD MAN

Good afternoon moonlight

You gonna tell me or what

 

**Minhyun**

I’m depressed, I don’t even know what time is it

Let me think and I’ll tell you everything

On Monday after classes 

 

**Jisung**

Okay, deal. 

Are you ok my moonlight?

Need anything?

 

**Minhyun**

Fuck off, jisung

 

After this small talk, he leaves his phone screen down on his mattress and hides to sleep again. And even though he tries hard to fall asleep again, he can’t. He’s just tired, feels sad and disgusted with himself. _Why am I being like this…_

 

 

_———_

 

 

Monday arrives sooner than expected for Minhyun. He’s spent all those three days closed up at home inside his room only appearing in front of his parents for lunch. At least he was eating a little bit, so his parents didn’t complain too much when he refused to have dinner with them.

He didn’t know what was going on with him, he was feeling so sad he barely wanted to show up at college when Monday morning arrived. He had to go because finals are approaching and he doesn’t want to miss classes and lose his way. He needed to focus.

 

“Minhyun, are you listening to me?” Jisung claps in front of Minhyun’s face, earning a scared jump from the younger in his seat.

“Yeah, sorry” Minhyun looks away trying to think about what Jisung just said to him which he doesn’t remember at all because he wasn’t listening. 

“Then, what are you going to do?” Jisung tilts his head looking straight at Minhyun’s eyes looking for a sign or something that can help him read his mind.

“I don’t know… I guess I’ll have to move on?” He simply replies.

“And what if Daniel talked to you again this week… what are you going to do, ignore him or talk to him again as if nothing happened and best friends forever and ever?” Minhyun frowns at the question.

“Why do you say that… I’m not going to be ready to talk to him just yet, I need some.. space, time, whatever you want to call it.” The desperate look at Minhyun’s eyes and the exaggerated gesticulation tells Jisung that he’s really overwhelmed with his own situation, so he decides to change topics.

“Okay, okay… let’s just avoid him for now… I was going to ask you about Sohyun, but I think I better close my mou-“ before he can finish his sentence, someone appears beside them with arms full of books and papers.

“Oh, it’s Minion and Jisung!” Minhyun and Jisung look up at Seungwoo’s face with a smile, but the youngers fades away when spots Daniel just behind the boy. “Mind if we sit with you? There aren’t any more seats available…”

“Sure, come join us” Jisung pats the empty seat next to him and Minhyun isn’t sure anymore who is he inviting to take a seat if Daniel or Seungwoo.

 

It doesn’t matter because Seungwoo takes the seat next to Minhyun hence Daniel ending seating next to Jisung, in front of Minhyun. That doesn’t help any of them. Daniel seems kind of off because he doesn’t speak much at first, but when the conversation starts to heat a little bit thanks to Seungwoo’s help, Daniel participates animatedly, leaving Minhyun as the only one who doesn’t dare to open his mouth. He actually doesn’t feel like staying with them, but leaving without a good excuse would be rude and noticeable. 

 

The conversation grabs Minhyun’s attention when he realizes that they are talking about the relationship between Daniel and his so-called friend Joeun. But what awakes Minhyun from spacing out is the comment that Seungwoo gives. 

 

“I think you should stop messing with her, I mean, she likes you but you got bored already!” Minhyun nods although he doesn’t open his mouth.

“But I liked how things were a few weeks ago… no worries, no problems, no attachments… I don’t know” Minhyun opens his mouth and actually starts talking his mind before he can think further.

“In my opinion, you should stop fucking her, that might help her to stop confusing your feelings towards her. In case you have them”

“Well, in my opinion, you should shut your mouth” starts Daniel, and that hurts Minhyun like daggers. “I don’t think you’re the most appropriate person here to give advice.”

 

The look in Daniel’s eyes doesn’t help Minhyun, because he feels further than rejected with Daniel’s tone of voice. But his only response is nodding while holding back his tears, he looks at his drink and shuts up. The other’s seem to think that there’s something that they don’t know about Minhyun, and maybe they think about Sohyun when hearing Daniel’s words. They are all wrong, but Minhyun has already given up his fight. He’s tired, and he shouldn’t be there.

 

After a few more minutes in which the topic has derived to another one totally different, Minhyun excuses himself and leaves the cafe promising Jisung to contact him again soon and waving goodbye to Jinyoung, thing that doesn’t escape Daniel’s eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this was different from the past chapters and Minhyun is suffering a little bit but... I'm sorrrrry~  
> Things are going to change soon between Daniel and Minhyun, so anticipate next chapters!!
> 
> I know things are going slowly and this push and pull between Daniel and Minhyun is the essence of their relationship, but things are going exactly how they have to go...
> 
> Thank you for reading this far and staying with me :(  
> lots of love <3


	14. confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know I just said I shouldn't be updating... :)

The fact that he wasn’t ready to face Daniel, was absolutely demonstrated after the apparition of Daniel and Seungwoo in the middle of his meeting with Jisung. If he was feeling sick before, now it was worse. Minhyun didn’t dare to go to class next day nor the next one. He kind of stayed at home with the excuse of “having a lot of papers to study for finals” which was true but which also he didn’t even take a look during those days. Exams were approaching and with them the urge of taking everything off his head and heart, Minhyun was about to explode. 

 

**Minhyun**

Daniel, I need to talk to you

 

 

He sends the message after having thought about it at least 10 times, it was something that was prowling in his head since the day before, so he had to do it. He feels how his body is trembling and if he had to do it face to face, he wouldn’t be probably saying anything at all. He expects his answer, and Daniel takes a few minutes to give it to him.

 

 

**Daniel**

Talk to me, then

 

**Minhyun**

But… it’s hard… 

There’s something I need to tell you and I feel I have to explain myself

 

**Daniel**

Do whatever you want

 

**Minhyun**

Then wait, please

 

**Daniel**

Okay?

 

 

Although the response from Daniel seems to be a little bit rude, Minhyun starts writing his heart out, in a page of Word in his computer carefully, willing to re-read everything twice but ending sending it without even doing once because he knows that if he does he will start changing things and he doesn’t want to change anything overthinking. He just presses “send” and he waits for Daniel’s answer, knowing however that he might not do it.

 

 

**Minhyun**

Okay… I needed to start this somehow and I think the best option is to tell you everything from the start. Where this started and everything.

I’ve been your friend for years now, I’ve counted on you and you have done the same with me several times, but even if I think I know you, I know it’s not true at all. You keep lots of things to yourself and this annoys the hell out of me because I want to know you more, I want to know you better, understand you better. But you don’t talk to me - maybe it’s my fault because I never asked you about this before, but I think this is something friends shouldn’t ask about, this is something it should be given as something normal. As normal as I tell you how I feel or how boring I thought the film was.

I think you’re mad at me. That you don’t trust me. I’ve always told you everything, and you know it. You know everything that happened between Sohyun and me, you know I don’t like her anymore. But even though you know that you have supposed things and have not let me explain anything. If you had let me, I would have told you that she missed me, that I missed her AS A FRIEND, and that although she wants to be with me, I’ve rejected her already at least two times. I know what you saw when we were at the party, but believe me, nothing happened between us, she was, in fact, crying when you came in with Joeun. 

Which by the way, I don’t like that girl at all. Okay now comes my 100% honest opinion and feelings, I hate her. I hate her because what the hell Daniel? What does that girl have? What does she have that I don’t? I’m fucking jealous. I was suspecting that something happened between you two before our trip to Busan, but when you told me that you were fucking her, I had to hold myself. 

You know, the tension between us has never been like this. We were fine. But you hugged me when we were in Busan while sleeping, and you provoked so many things in me I thought I was going to die. 

I think everything started there. I mean, my feelings. Because I have feelings towards you. You make me blush, tremble and this feeling overwhelms me so much I can barely talk when I’m around you. I’m sorry if I’ve been kind of off those days, if I acted strangely or if I said anything that might have confused you or hurt you. I was just trying to figure out my feelings because Jisung told me I was in love with you but I wanted to be sure about it… 

Please don’t be mad at me, I was scared… scratch that, I am scared of losing you. Really Daniel, like… too scared to even think properly right now. I don’t want anything to change between us, I don’t want to lose you, so please don’t push me away because I know that you have been doing it for the last few weeks.

 

 

Although it takes a few minutes after Daniel reads everything and thinks of an answer, Minhyun is going to have his answer he likes it or not. He actually wishes he could see Daniel’s face right now and see his expression. _Is he surprised? Did he know? Maybe this is confusing him even more? What have I done…_ Before he can think it a third time, the sound that indicates that someone has talked to him grabs his attention once again, opening his chat window with the younger.

 

 

**Daniel**

…. I didn’t know you were thinking that much, Minhyun. You were acting strange and I couldn’t understand what was going on and got mad at you without a proper reason. It’s true that I was mad, but it was because I didn’t understand myself either. You said you were jealous about Joeun. Well, I felt a full feeling of rage and jealousy when I saw you with Sohyun. I didn’t give you the choice to explain yourself because everything could be seen with eyes. You were acting strange with me and hanging with that girl that gave you so much headache again. I couldn’t understand. 

You said you talked to Jisung… so he knows? He told you that you’re in love with me, but… what do you think? Are you? 

 

 

Minhyun can’t breathe the moment he reads the reply. With a hand in his mouth, he slowly types with the other one a quick answer that he has to think a little bit because he can’t answer him saying only “yes, I am”. Because he isn’t.

 

**Minhyun**

I like you. 

I might love you, but from here to be in love with you…

Thinking it twice, everything that has happened has hurt me in a way nothing ever had. I think I am in love with you.

 

**Daniel**

I don’t like to know that you’ve been hurt… 

I like you too, Minhyunie… I love you too. 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you things were going as they had to...
> 
> What are your opinions? Is Daniel sincere here? Is it going to everything be fine now?
> 
> hehe you'll have to wait a little bit~


	15. Fear

Minhyun is not sure that confessing was a good idea. He got to know that Daniel’s feelings are the same, but something still feels off. 

He knows he could have run to Jisung and told him everything, but he decided not to do so. Instead, he kept talking to Daniel and agreed to meet as soon as both of them were kind of free after exams. There’s still the possibility of them meeting between exams, but that would be awkward for both of them. They weren’t anything, they didn’t dare to ask what tag should they wear or if they even had to wear one. 

Minhyun is sure he’d feel jealousy every time Daniel meets anyone who is not him. For Daniel, things were more or less the same, that was the main reason he had decided to tell Minhyun about his feelings, as feeling them were making him get mad at the tiniest things he had ever imagined and that was making no sense for him.

 

 

What Minhyun had planned to do during the full week of exams was to talk to Jisung, talk to Sohyun and set everything with everyone so he’d be at ease at least for a while. He needed to take everything from his chest, so he started with Sohyun answering her messages and deciding to meet with her for a few minutes after her classes.

 

Minhyun was wearing a few books because his intention was to go to the library afterwards, so although his looks were something that called attention everywhere, he could pass as another student. Because he actually was, just not from that campus.

 

“Hey! What are you doing here?” Sohyun smiles widely when she spots him, she waves goodbye to her friends that look at her giggling, maybe thinking that he was her boyfriend or soon to be and walks to him shushing them. 

“I have a few minutes and felt like I had to talk to you in person” Minhyun smiles shyly looking at the floor starting to walk towards the library. “Do you have time?”

“If you want to talk about the other day… It is not really necessary, believe me” she shook her head walking next to him. “I mean, I behaved sooooo bad… I’m sorry. I did a mess of myself in front of you and I should be apologizing even more… really, I’m sorry… I don’t want your opinion of me to change to this one… you know I’m not like that.”

“Because I know, you don’t have to apologize so much… don’t worry, if everything is okay from your side, from mine it is too” Minhyun smiles looking directly at her and licks his lips as he notices them dry.

“Minhyun-ah, are you feeling better now?” The question surprises the boy who stops and looks at her with his head lightly tilted, waiting for her to explain before answering. “I mean.. you look more relaxed now… have your worries been solved? Is your mind clearer now?”

“Yeah… Kind of.” Minhyun smiles starting to walk again not sure if he wants to talk about the topic with her or not. “Are you going to the library? There’s where I’m heading to, just in case you’re just following me without noticing.”

“I know, I know, it’s fine” Sohyun smiles to her sentence and stops before walking any further with the boy. “Then, we’ll see each other around, I guess? Take care of yourself, Emperor Min~”

“See you, Sohyun…” Minhyun nods at her smiling at the nickname that she just used and waves her while she leaves. He turns and looks at the library that stands just in front of him before making a step towards the building.

 

 

Fixing everything with Sohyun…. Done. 

 

Minhyun smiles for the first time with relief in like what seems for him months. Everything is becoming normal, everything seems to be fine now.

Once he sets himself in a seat in the middle of the lounge, he opens his computer and receives all the messages that he’s been ignoring for the past minutes from his mobile, opening in an instant the one from Daniel.

 

Daniel

“I can’t study, let’s go eat something together minhyunaah…”

 

Minhyun smiles automatically at the message, but although he wants to answer ‘yes’ his reply is a ‘NO’ in capital letters because he’s not letting Daniel fail his exams nor himself fail any subject.

 

Suddenly, arms appear around his neck and someone leans to his side from behind, startling him in silence as he’s conscious that he’s in a library, but instead of trying to free himself, he looks at the face thats so close to his and smiles whole-heartedly.

 

“How you dare say ‘NO’ to me…” Daniel pouts and takes a sit in front of the boy talking as low as he can in a whisper. Minhyun sits correctly again and shakes his head.

“I don’t want us to fail…” He whispers imitating Daniel’s pout.

“Oh, come on… you know you won’t fail. And I will manage, I promise.” Daniel smiles and everything that surrounds him seems to wrap him in a playboy aura that somehow Minhyun loves. The smile is so contagious that the older ends up smiling too, closing his computer and gathering all his things keeping them in his bag.

“Okay, let’s go…”

“Yes!”

 

Minhyun puts on his backpack and walks with Daniel to the exit, sighing at the fact that he’s been in the library for exactly 2 minutes. Goodbye to his grades, hello Kang Daniel.

 

 

Daniel is not exactly what everyone thinks he is. Of course he is cheerful, he’s always a smile on his face, he looks nice, he is indeed kind and a good boy. BUT, we all have a ‘but’ in our good and Daniel wasn’t missing his. He might not be aware of it, Minhyun might not notice, but Daniel could get whatever he wanted from Minhyun with a blink of an eye. And although it can be thought as something good as ‘how whipped Minhyun with Daniel is’ it is also a dangerous thing. Daniel can control and Minhyun is controllable. 

 

Minhyun was sure that the situation between them would get awkward and he would start panicking as he’s so lost with Daniel he might not know what to say at times, but the situation is not as he had expected it to be. Although in his mind he had pictured things differently, he still felt comfortable being around Daniel. Not touching Daniel. Not being too close to Daniel. Not flirting with him.

 

“So, can I eat you instead?” Daniel smirks at the sentence looking at him mischievously. 

“Of course not?” Minhyun opens his eyes trying to escape Daniel’s reach. “We can go to the campus cafeteria and eat something there.”

“You’re no fun…” Daniel flicks his tongue and pouts with reluctance looking at the entrance of the mentioned cafeteria.

 

This wasn’t what he was planning, he wanted to get closer to Minhyun, talk to him, laugh with him, touch him. He is not prepared to let everyone know in college that he was flirting or having ‘something’ with another boy. On the other side, Minhyun is more than satisfied that he can be somewhere with Daniel without having to worry about all the things that Daniel wanted; at least for now. 

 

It looks evident when people look at them and take note of what their body language says, Minhyun’s fear is winning this intangible battle. The difficult thing is containing the anxiety that is running through his whole body while thinking about ways to keep his distance with Daniel and at the same time feels the need to crawl into Daniel’s arms and kiss his full lips and touch his body, hug him. Bittersweet contradiction that has his heart beating two times his pace and blood reaching his checks.

Although Daniel won’t say anything, when they are free and can escape this nightmare of a campus full of people, he grabs Minhyun’s hand and intertwines their fingers, at least maintaining that kind of skinship with him while he drags the older boy somewhere where they can be both free to do whatever they want without fearing meeting anyone familiar to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay it looks like i'm back. I might not update as often as I usually did before, but I'm here~   
> Lots of things have happened during these past months and it has been a nightmare for me, I'm sorry for making you wait!  
> I promise I won't leave this unfinished, I'm just really busy and my mind has a lot to think about so it's kind of hard for me to write.
> 
> SO. DANIEL. MINHYUN. I'm telling you now, don't expect a happy ending- If you're waiting for a happy ever after, this is not your fanfic... I'm not really sure I've said this before (it's been too long, I'm sorry again) but this fanfic is based on my personal life experience with someone and I want to be loyal to what happened (of course I'm writing a fanfiction and situations and conversations are not going to be the same, but still... be advised that the relationship between them will be TOXIC.
> 
> There are several ways for a relationship between two people to be toxic, and maybe for this relationship is a little bit difficult to identify, but I'll try to make it easier for y'all to understand.
> 
> Thanks for reading this faaaar, thank you thank you so much (I don't even know how you can read this when everything is published without a second or third look and I can't even imagine how you put up with me and my poor english... TT)
> 
> See you soooooooon!!


	16. Good

As expected, Minhyun remains without words to Daniel thanking internally the not-uncomfortable silences that appear between them. He’s just nervous, and although he shouldn’t be, he can’t make it stop.

After one afternoon doing nothing but procrastinating, they are both in a plaza standing next to a bench where Daniel is semi-seated while Minhyun is just in front of him without actually knowing what he is supposed to do next.

 

“Well, did you have fun?” Daniel rises both eyebrows looking at Minhyun, look that the older returns shaking his head.

“Yeah, I did… but we have lost one afternoon of hard study for this.” He sighs after saying it, knowing it might hurt Daniel.

“So it was not worthy to be all afternoon with me?” Daniel pouts bringing the older one with him as he pulls from him and grabs him also by the waist, as if he wasn’t imposing enough before. 

 

Before Minhyun says anything, a hint of a smile appears on his mouth and without thinking he lets his body take control of him and leans over Daniel making their lips touch. It’s just a press on his lips at first, but before he can repent, Daniel’s lips part and so does his own wanting a little bit more.

The kiss doesn’t go much further as Minhyun can only feel the suaveness of Daniel’s lips and his own heart, racing so hard it hurt him. Feeling clumsy, the oldest one pulls apart and opens his eyes looking fully at Daniel’s face. Daniel licks his own bottom lip, Minhyun following the tip of his tongue with his eyes, not stoping himself from stealing a chaste kiss from him.

 

“You know, whatever your thoughts were, this have made everything worth.” 

 

After saying that, Daniel lifts himself bracing Minhyun by his waist tightly, the oldest returning the hug equally as he tries to assimilate what has just happened. Agreeing with Daniel, he hides his face in the neck of the youngest closing his eyes as he feels chest against chest unable to formulate any coherent sentence. 

 

“Shall we go home now?” Minhyun whispers knowing that the blush will still take a little bit to leave his face.

 

Daniel looks at him while the oldest one breaks away from him, looking at his eyes while trying to keep him close as he reaches for his hand interlacing their fingers. The fact that Daniel remains silent the few minutes that take them to get to the metro station and get on the train are enough for Minhyun to get the alarm reach his mouth and talk for himself.

 

“Will you be okay? We can meet on Friday afternoon if you want…” Minhyun tilts his head looking at him while speaking, suddenly following Daniel’s eyes when his attention focuses on another thing that is not him. The surprise when his eyes meet Seungwoo’s.

“Sure, why not?” He murmurs. “Hey, Ong Seongwoo!” He lifts his hand as he calls for his friend, Minhyun moving beside thim maintaining certain distance between Daniel and him.

“Oh, Daniel! And Emperor Hwang!” Seongwoo walks joining them.

“Seongwoo! what are you doing here?” Daniel smiles and Minhyun can feel the twitch in his own eyes as he looks at the pair of them.

 

_ Why am I feeling like this? _ Jealousy. A bad feeling that goes through all his body making him feel sick.

While Daniel and Seongwoo establish a conversation about what they have been doing during the afternoon, Minhyun simply smiles politely watching at the doors that open and close in each station, alert because there’s only one stop left for him.

 

“Guys I have to leave next stop” Minhyun looks at Daniel helplessly without knowing what to do because Seongwoo is beside him and he doesn’t know what he can or can’t do with when someone known is around.

“Okay, see you around?” Seongwoo looks with a friendly smile at Minhyun who nods and looks at Daniel next.

“Text me if you want to meet finally on Friday.” Minhyun grabs Daniel’s arm and squeezes a little bit, seeing that Daniel doesn’t move an inch nor makes the intent to reach for him for anything and turns leaving the train and both of his  _ friends  _ inside.

 

_ I did wrong. What was I supposed to do? Should I have kissed him? In front of Seongwoo? I couldn’t do that. Not when we have not even labelled ourselves into nothing yet. I don’t want to feel like this, I don’t like this. _

 

Minhyun ends up walking home trying to get some fresh air into his head, leaving everything on his desktop when he gets home and letting his body fall into his bed. With a sigh, he pulls out his phone from his pocket and starts reading most of his notifications until he reaches Daniel’s conversation and starts typing.

 

**Minhyun**

I’m sorry

I didn’t know what to do… I’m sorry if I hurt you not kissing you before leaving…

 

**Daniel**

Does that mean that you’d kiss me more?

 

**Minhyun**

Of course! Moron…

  
  


Minhyun relaxes a little bit his body after the fast answer from Daniel, but when he leaves him “read”, a frown forms in his forehead and ends up messaging the younger boy again.

 

**Minhyun**

Hey Daniel… are we ok?

 

**Daniel**

Yeah, we good

_ But why does it not sound so good? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii! As promised, I'm back!  
> It took me a while to post because I've moved and I've been a week without my computer and coudn't write during that time... I'm sorry it took longer than expected.
> 
> I hope you liked that chapter, thank you for reading!
> 
> <3


	17. I want you

Minhyun’s lips are kisseable. That’s a fact Daniel has come up with just a few kisses from the older. Not that he didn’t think about it before doing it, but it was a fact now he had checked. And now he doesn’t think he can stop kissing them.

 

Minhyun is upset, and he knows it, or at least he has gotten an idea about it because the older doesn’t seem to let go of his negative feelings. Not that he had explained anything to him, but he can figure.

 

He was himself upset when Minhyun didn’t kiss him goodbye in front of Seongwoo, but it was more with himself than with the older. How could he blame entirely the only person that turns him to be on this state? He might have projected that he was upset with him, but that wasn’t the truth. It isn’t the truth. So why is Minhyun still upset? 

 

Daniel lets a moan scape between his lips in an almost imperceptible way when Minhyun’s hand pulls a little bit from his hair. Make out sesions with the older have seemed to be the best he has ever had so far with anyone and this was hella scary for both of them because sadly, they didn’t have the time everyone could have to do as much as they want. Or feel. 

 

“I want you…” he could hear himself say aloud.

 

And there it was, the look from Minhyun that maked him rethink everything again.  _ Was I wrong? Is this worth it? Do I want this? Hell I just said it to him because I let myself go with my feelings without thinking... _

 

Worth it or not, the doubt made him retract and cool himself. It was just a look, a ephemeral glimpse in his eyes that makes him doubt even his time with him. This could go  _ so _ wrong.

 

A lick on his lips making him open his mouth wider, receiving the oldest’s tongue inside. Craving more, needing more. Holding Minhyun in his arms as his body pushes the older one looking for contact. 

 

_ How have we gotten into this? We were just friends, not the ones that are 24/7 stuck together, but the ones that are there sometimes. No bad vibes, no bad intentions. I had never had interest in having his attention directed towards me. Why now. Why do I need it now? _

 

Minhyun bites him, pulls him closer and for one second it seems as if he had turned clumsy, so they stop. Both are panting. Minhyun looks directly at his eyes, and now is Daniel who steals a kiss from his swollen lips.  _ Tempting _ .

 

Daniel has never asked himself what he wants, he doesn’t plan. Confused as he is with Minhyun, why would he propose a label? Why calling him ‘boyfriend’? He never did with Joeun, why would he.  _ Because this is serious. Because I love him and want him and I don’t want to share him.  _ Then why is it so dificult to talk things, what are you so scared of?  _ I’m not good enough and he doesn’t love me that much. _ Everything could go so wrong.

 

But his body is telling him that he doesn’t care because he’s responding to all the things Minhyun is doing to him, touches, pants, kisses, licks. He can feel the blood on his face. And somewhere lower too. 

 

Daniel leaves a trail of humid kisses, from his mouth to his earlobe, bitting it suavely. 

 

“Daniel…”  _ we can’t _ .

 

He knows what Minhyun wants to say but doesn’t. But he’s not going to accept it, he’s not stopping, he’s not saying no to his body.

 

“Be mine” he whispers. Minhyun is trembling.

“I am yours already”

“Entirely…” Minhyun closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before stoping himself and opening them to look for his eyes and Daniel’s body stops, preparing himself to face the oldests words. “I don’t want to share you. I want you to be happy with me, I want to be the reason of your smiles, I want you to want me… I love you, Daniel.. please love me too”

 

Although the last part should have not been said, or so considers Daniel, he finds himself closing his eyes and accepting his words irredeemably lowering his head and supporting himself in Minhyun’s shoulder.

 

“I love you already, Minhyun… what are you saying..?” 

 

The pout in Minhyun’s mouth should have said everything, but Daniel is too busy hiding his own face, now noticing how the environment changes around them.

 

“C’mon, I’ll walk you home” 

 

Minhyun rolls his eyes when Daniel faces him again, sliding his hands together and interlocking their fingers. 

 

“I can walk myself home, you can stay.” That earns a pout from Daniel’s lips. “I’ll go get some food before I get home and I’ll be fine by myself”

“Okay… See you tomorrow then” Maybe that sounded cooler than pretended, but Minhyun nods and looses their hands until he lets go and allows him to leave, not before giving him a proper kiss this time.

 

Once alone, Daniel is losts in his toughts and feelings, he lets his eyes rest. Not an hour has passed when his mobile tells him he has a message from the older.

 

**Minhyun**

I miss you already

 

The smile in his lips doesn’t lie, but his sincerity doesn’t reach his words at all.

 

**Daniel**

Moron, we’ll see each other tomorrow! 

 

**Minhyun**

You’re so romantic!!!! Best boyfriend in the world!!!!

 

**Daniel**

Indeed I am

 

So… boyfriends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter was different. Wanted to give some insight from Daniel's perspective now, so here it is...  
> I'm not sure i'm going to give him many chapters like this one but i think this will help you understand a little bit better.
> 
> See you sooooon <3


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